I need you — Just because

I need you because I want you;
the converse could be stressful.

I want you because I want to love you;
I want to love you because—just because.

Je ne sais quoi.

In absolute terms, God does not appear to need man;
yet he lives and acts as though he does—just because.

A love-hate-love relationship (View 2)

At first it was easy,

then it became a little challenging.

Things had slowed down.

A little later with a spurt of will,

he picked up pace and continued,

seeking to be diligent;

the same and different.

It felt harder.

First she loved him;

then she hated him.

And then again she loved him

and hated him after that;

even more so a little later.

Then she loved him again;

coming to hate him eventually some time later.

And finally, she loved him,

accepting her choice.

Demanding persistence, he gave it that;

until he hit a brick wall

and kind of got quenched.

He came back again to climb over

in a breakthrough;

going on for a while

and slowly getting weary.

Finally he let go to say,

“I love you anyways.”

‘I love you’ rings in my head

Thinking of how many times I’ve heard them

Those words, they appear in me now and again

Whether you’re here or some where

‘I love you,’ rings in my head

Debts for which I am credited

Debt to spouse, by marriage

Debt to children, by parenthood

Debt to parents, by sonship

Debt to friends, by friendship

Debt to self, for Christ’s sake

Debt to man, for the dignity inherent in mankind

Debt to God, for the dignity inherent in God

I wanted the girl

I wanted the girl
She was a bird
She would have no perch
For more than a third

I wanted the bird
‘Go with her where she went
To perch anywhere
There to make our nest

I wanted the girl
Smart lioness princess
Let me be your den
And make your soul my rest

I wanted the bird
With me for all our years
Her only perch
Where she made her best

I wanted the girl
She would not rest
She had not let herself
Make our I’s disappear

I wanted the bird
She has the eagles’ crest
‘Made us a pair
And? We’re just friends

Life goes more than breasts
We are creatures of the air
Ethereal
I wanted the girl

A ​Hierarchy of Happiness

‘Was chatting with a friend about happiness some time ago. So I thought to reflect on why we get happy, and why our happiness might persist. This piece tries to addresses the first question directly.  

I identify four kinds of happiness, speak of a happiness personality test, and end with a hierarchy of happiness (Maslow style). I’ve used happiness here as the pleasant emotional sensation or feeling that comes with, and because of gratification or the anticipation of it.  

The happiness for enjoyment:- Because of activity and participation; as getting a fix. E.g travelling, dancing, knitting, drugs, sex, drink, sports, games, marriage, etc.  

Could she still be happy without enjoyments?  

The happiness for possession:- Because I received, have, or own some one or some thing. E.g, cars, connection(s), gifts, girlfriends, friends, boyfriends, experiences checked off the checklist, celebrity status, spouse, friend, degrees, trophies, houses, etc.  

Could she still be happy without possessions and enjoyments?  

The happiness for events:- Because something that pleased you happened. E.g. birthdays, weddings, news of passing exams, visitors, and general good news, D. Trump wins? etc.  

Could she still be happy without pleasant outcomes, possessions and enjoyments?  

The happiness for achievement:- Because I finished or was rewarded. E.g. degrees, awards, promotion, meeting goals, hitting targets, putting your kids through school, marriage, wedding, etc.  

Could she still be happy without achievements, pleasant news, possessions, and enjoyments?  

Looking at our happinesses, which of these four has supplied most of them at various periods in our lives. 

According to your lifestyle, if you were to rank these in order of power, permanence, or personal significance, how would you arrange them — top to bottom. That tells us where we are, in a way. Or, perhaps, where we might want to ‘improve.’ Like a happiness personality test.  

Why did we order them the way we did? Nature, or nurture? I’d say that nurture started it all, with ‘life happening’ as an accomplice, and volition plastering it on nature. 

Finally, considering the foregoing, and following the pattern of Maslow’s hierarchy or needs, here is my hierarchy of happiness. (First choice: PosEvAchEn; second choice: PoAchEvEn.) The first choice, in order of need:  

Possessions:- Happy for what you have, that you have, or that you are. 

Events:- Happy that some thing happened.  

Achievements:- Happy that you made something happen.  

Enjoyments:- Happy that you participated in something that tickled you.  

A love-hate-love relationship

First you loved her, then you hated her. And then again you loved her, and hated her after that, even more so a little later. Then you loved her again, coming to hate her eventually some time later. And finally, you loved her, accepting your choice.

At first it was easy, then it became a little challenging, slowing you down. A little later with a spurt of will, you picked up pace and continued, seeking to be diligent, but it got harder. It demanded persistence and you gave it that, until you hit a brick wall and got quenched. You came back again to climb over the wall in a breakthrough, going on for a while and slowly getting weary. Finally you let go and say, “I love you anyways.”