A tale of two phobias

Growing up learning about homo erectus and homo sapiens, the word ‘homo’ referred to “any living or extinct member of the family Hominidae characterized by superior intelligence, articulate speech, and erect carriage.”[Wordnet]. Not homosexuality.

A little later, hearing about claustrophobia, the word ‘phobia’ joined ones store of words, and got assigned the meaning: irrational and/or obsessive fear.

So homophobia as a word with the common (and derogatory) meaning, of fear, dislike, or hatred, of homosexuals, would be funny and false given the above meanings for its component words. You can imagine the assumptions made by that label, given an understanding of agoraphobia.

A review of the popular press shows the word applied to people who speak out against homosexuality and its ‘regularisation.’ It doesn’t follow.

The common use of the word, homophobe, is derogatory and not purely descriptive (as with normal phobia words). So that with its interpretation solidified, it amounts to unfairly maligning peoples actively expressing opposing ideals. Homophobia isn’t as anything to be cured.

Then comes Islamophobia, a new word too. A number of people see some sense in this one given a much more than correlation between Islam and ‘terrorism’ or ‘violent jihadism.’ So that, at least, it isn’t necessarily irrational to be an Islamophobe (whatever that means in reality).

Islamophobia, we gather, is also used in a derogatory sense. And it’s certainly a great word for PR. Though the PR is okay to pursue using the term, there are issues with the semantics of the word.

Because it is sometimes hard to distinguish Islam (the religion with its tenets, as variously understood) from Muslim (the practitioners or believers), let’s frame a new word: call it ‘muslimophobia’…. Then say that islamophobia might actually have been used to describe muslimophobia.

While victims of Islamic terrorism, and other peoples living in zones where Islamic terrorism and terrorists are rife might yield to having near phobic fears, Muslims (some of whom have been victims of such terrorism) do not have the luxury of islamophobia or muslimophobia.

To highlight a subtheme of this piece: It is possible and not abnormal to love and freely relate with others while still disliking their opinions, appearance, actions….

Semantics: it matter way too much.

A déjà vu speaks…

Ever had the recollection that made you think “I’ve been here before,” having the experience that a scene in your life was on replay for a few moments. Did it feel like you had a vision and it just came to pass? You had seen the future, and knew it only after knowing it.

Yes, the experience was real, to you, but the reason is psychological; it’s a kind of self delusion where one anticipates the ability to see the future subconsciously. [But that’s not going to do for an explanation. What, particularly, tickles one to have the experience, and what determines when or if it happens for any individual? …] There certainly are known unknowns, but the answers don’t change anything.

Trash all that, I had the experience and I know it’s real; it isn’t any delusion. I saw some scene in my future before I experienced it. You can’t just explain it away and blame me on top of it. [You’re in denial ma’am.] Like, seriously?

Pause.

Déjà vu’s say that a specific kind of time travel is possible.
That we can see the future makes prophecy not implausible.
And the future is (or can be) known exactly,
by some one,
or someone.
Human beings have the faculty to perceive the yet to be.
Or, perhaps, even be able to originate this
and follow through (like God):
guiding randomness towards a certain order.

So the randomness in life may be called into question. Materialism, certainly, becomes questionable. And causality (physical, volitional…) has another dimension emphasised: spiritual causality? Fate, destiny, becomes a convolution of action, and some ‘divine’ ordination; it seems fixed, but is it really. We have volition—like God. Yet volition is complicit in the fate that was seen after it was quietly told.

Honest Diplomacy

​Honesty is a policy
not the best diplomacy
Truth is
yet not the whole of it
For “the simple
when silent
is counted a sage.”

PS: the quote is a paraphrase of the first part or Proverbs 17:28

Our Glories

In the middle of the night
Reminiscing about the past
With gratitude and nostalgia
About the glories gone by

In the darkness before dawn
Projecting towards the sun
With gratitude and motivation
Towards the glories that come

Will her tummy not go back in?

He being the only one to behold and ‘appreciate’ the whole natural glory of her body, there might have been a feeling of resignation in his words, “I am stuck with the daily sight of this awesome woman whether or not she retains her shape after childbirth.”

Yet this same man, if not his wife, would likely be wanting another baby in about three years. And both their parents might ask questions if their second grandchild from the couple appears to be coming late. Three years is late already. 

The times are changing though.

But what does a man do if his wife ceases to be eye candy for him in the sense of eye candy, lust apart.

Now he doesn’t mind his wife getting fatter or fleshier (he is properly African, afterall), it’s just the protruding tummy. A little is okay, but not ‘that’ much. Yes, he knows he’s going nowhere, and that, by principle; hence, the sign of resignation in his jocular lament. 

Is there more for him to do than to encourage her nicely and out of love…. He has settled with the plot he chose to build his home in, like a real, mature, man on that front. Even if he married her for her body, he is married to her, and that counts for everything. Commitment is love.

I hope it is not that you are comparing your wife with other women. There’s no basis for comparison really: she’s the wife, so the others are not. Besides, their bodies and  histories are different. Ah, he just wants his hottie back (as if she had been away).

But what does a woman do, think, say. Particularly if ‘the one’ is almost making a fuss? Maybe he’s not.

He still likes you to look pretty that way in his eyes. Throwing tantrums like a spoilt child. He is crying over spilled milk, you don’t have to join him. Things would go from good to bad if you felt sorry and sad for what came beside that bundle of joy, your baby. And what if the fattening came by itself? Haha, the blessing of marriage. It is something to laugh about.

You have a little belly sir. I know. It’s nice, isn’t it. My wife loves to rub it. Hmm, why don’t you rub hers? …It doesn’t work both ways man. That’s like stand the earth on its head; unimaginable.

He wants you; only you. Not some other woman, however flat-bellied, tight and shapely, well-sized where it matters, fresh looking, and totally tantalising in a bikini she might look. Em, okay, I’d like think that that is true. It’s comforting at the very least.

But he looked … Haha, you would catch some men giving mannequins a second look. Not funny though, if it happens more than once. He might be trekking towards losing the plot, so a smack and a reminder might be helpful. Whack! What? “I’m helping you stay focused on what matters: me.” He has a sense of serious humour.

So some women delay marriage and childbirth because of ‘fashion.’ …. Some opt out entirely. A friend says she wants only one, for whatever reason. Many others say ‘what the heck’ and trudge on, walking barefeet and free. 

Her home is now a gym, because biology often needs help. Regardless, he’s a pillar that will always be there. Kind of like God in a way. I love you; I know it everyday.

Information, Being, and Living

From information theory, we might want to say these things relating to life, nature, and society. Each thought has significant consequences.

1.)
Wherever there is change, information has been generated or effected. This is the establishment of purpose and meaning, since a destination becomes implied by change, or because of it.

E.g. Movement (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual …).

Every change is a cause. And we change as we move, exercise, take action, make action….

2.)
Change, or information, does not have to be perceived for it to exist. However, that it exists should mean that it is perceivable.

E.g. The cycle of cell replacement in the body. Healing and repentance. Impression of righteousness, faith, hope, love….

3.)
A state of constancy (like a change with difference only in time) is itself information: speaking either of a powerful inertia, or of a balance of influences. Constancy tells one that another can be trusted to be/do ….

E.g. Attitudes and character. God. Commonsense. Physics. Satan. Chemistry. Fidelity. Biology.

4.)
If an apparently random system, or system far from equilibrium, continuously produces information, then over time, that system will arrive at an equilibrium position or system (even if complex).

E.g. The development of the United States. Origin of the world. Rockefeller’s increase in wealth. Socialism. Scientology. Increase in people giving away their virginity during their teenage years. Gluttony in food, drink etc. Divorce. Social organisation ….